Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bald, stiches and a shot in the ass!

January 25th ~ Today I proceeded to continue pulling my hair out a couple more times throughout the day. I never cried while doing this, I was just in amazement that as I ran my fingers through my hair, it literally fell out. By the end of the night, I looked like my hair was thinning and my part was balding, so you know a lot of hair was coming out. Finally, I asked Attila at 9:30 p.m. to come and shave it and get it over with, so that is what he did. It was nice to have him shave my head for a couple of reasons. One, he is my husband and was there for me rubbing my back as I was crying. Yes, now I was crying but it did not last long. Give cancer its fifteen minutes of fame and move on. Two, he has been in the army before so he is used to giving this haircut, and three I was at home and allowed to show any emotion I wanted. I cannot explain to you what it is like to look at yourself bald; I do not think anyone can ever imagine what it would look like without it happening. Many thoughts run through your head, especially the thought that now cancer is showing its face. I have to stop thinking like this just because I am bald and others will stare at me assuming that “oh she must have cancer”. If I can sport my energy from the inside on the outside along with my new hairdo, maybe people will stop looking at others who are bald and defining them with cancer. Moreover, I think I make bald look good!

Monday January 26th ~ I forgot to mention yesterday that one of my stitches from my surgery was still in place and the skin was growing over it. Dr. Attila and Sasha had to do something in order to get the knot pulled away from my skin and cut off we were successful. From everything that happened yesterday, it exhausted me and I was up, had breakfast, did some cleaning around the house and was back in bed for a nap by 10:30 a.m. Most of the day was a right off except that I managed to have a two-hour yoga practice at home again, which felt good.

Tuesday January 27th ~ Off to the Dr.’s first thing in the morning for my fertility shot which cost $400 each month, but the doctor has written me a new script for the same shot but it is longer lasting and is for three months. Therefore, I will go back at the end of February and will not have to return as the shot should take me to the end of my chemo treatments, oh but it is also triple the cost!
Following the doctor’s appointment, Attila and I went for breakfast, which was nice. I am enjoying him working afternoons a couple of times a week, though I know we probably doesn’t like it, but when would we ever get the chance to hang out and go for breakfast together during the week? Afterwards we just did some random things and headed home, he did some schoolwork, and I did some fashion show stuff and then took a nap.

Tomorrow is my follow up with my oncologist.

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