Thursday, April 22, 2010

March 2010

another long and crazy one ......

March 1st, 2010
Not off to a good start!  Spent the majority of the day in bed because I was having an even more difficult time breathing.  By mid afternoon Dr. Wilson advised me that I not wait any longer and head to emerg where they will be expecting me.  My wait was minimal .... 15 mins, they were all in a tizzy because they wanted to get me into a secluded area because I was undergoing treatments.  At this point I was not even able to talk because I was so short of breath .... not a good sign.  After yet another chest x-ray the emerg doctor told me my lung had filled up again .... do you want another thoracentesis?  Sure .... I needed something to relieve the discomfort as I could only hunch over to get some relief.  

Thoracentesis #5!!!  What sucked about it all is that so much scare tissue had built up from the previous procedures that after sticking the needle into my back in two different areas he was not able to find a pocket .... therefore no fluid was removed.  He explained that originally the fluid was moving freely, now because of the scare tissue it is in pockets.  The emerg doctors suggestions were ..... admit myself for pain control, have an ultrasound guided procedure tomorrow and lastly to have the pleuradesis performed.  After Dr. Wilson and I chatted he asked me where I was at ... mentally/physically and I just stated I wanted to fluid gone permanently.  Therefore, I agreed to have the surgery and I would be put on the emerg list.

Off to my room with some good ole' morphine to get in food before midnight because my surgery would be late Tuesday.  Now this is another ordeal that I won't go into too much details but Tuesday night came around and finally at 10:00 pm I found out from the anesthesiologist that the surgery had been cancelled awhile ago!  Now we couldn' get in contact with the doctor to see if I could eat or drink anything (since it had been almost 24 hrs since I seen food or water) .... finally at 10:45 pm the nurse said eat.  Let's try this again .... stopped eating at midnight, surgery was rescheduled for 7:00 pm Wednesday night.  This time I asked "if I don't hear anything by a certain time should I assume that the surgery is cancelled again?"  The response "they won't do anything in the OR if it is not done by 11:00pm!  That didn't really help me out any so I stated that if I didn't hear anything by 9:30 pm that I was going to start eating again!!  I forgot to mention that throughout the past 48 hrs I had been on morphine every 3hrs to help with the pain ... I just wanted my lung fixed!  7:00 ish off to the OR!

Finally I could breath again .... hopefully as it's alittle hard to tell when you are in pain.  I was hooked up to a morphine drip and had a beautiful tube the size of your thumb inserted into my side through my ribs and into my lung.  It needed to be recorded everyday how much fluid was accumulating and I had a chest x-ray done every day in the hospital.  The staff were great plus they knew they were under the watchful eye's of some of my protector doctors ... Dr. Wilson, Dr. Speirs & Dr. Annisette it was the joke of the floor that the nurses better take good care of me, they were amazing!

March 8th, 2010
After a week I was able to be discharged .... Dr. Coughlin came in early and stated it was time for me to go home and the tube needed to be removed.  NOTHING, could prepare you for having a hard tube ripped out of your side that was inserted about 6 inches in.  He stated it would hurt and feel like someone set you on fire.  OK, "deep breath in, blow out hard, now hold" ...... "OH MY GOODNESS, HOLY CRAP!!!!!".  My mom could hear me yell from down the hall, yes it felt like someone set me on fire but from the inside out and that doesn't even come close to explaining the pain it was.  I referenced it to the horror movies when someone reaches into your chest and pulls out an organ ... if you could imagine that I think it would come pretty close.  

March 15th, 2010
It have been recovering for a week and now off to Dr. Couglin's for an x-ray and suture removal which all went well and it appeared that the procedure had worked.  Dr. Couglin asked it had received my path reports yet, no not yet.  "Well, the path reports are stating mesothelioma" ..... "isn't that related to asbestos exposure?"  "Yes, that's why we don't believe it and therefore have sent it away for another opinion." 

March 16th, 2010
Dr. Alam reiterated what Dr. Coughlin stated about the path reports and she truly believes with all her other colleagues that it is a breast cancer recurrence.  If I could go back in time I would leave a note for myself to NOT go home and read up on mesothelioma!  The whole day was spent crying!

March 18th, 2010
8:45 am - Chemo #2 ..... wish it went as easy as before.  Since my treatments started ASAP and we didn't know exactly how many I would be receiving I figured it would be OK to just use my veins.  Well .... each nurse is allowed to try and start a line 3x.  After the 8th try and the 3rd nurse I informed them that I will not be going home today without my treatment and that you will be giving it me someway, somehow and to use my vein on the inside of my elbow.  I know they don't like to use it because this is where the lab draws their blood work and chemo can mess up your veins.  "Just put it there today because I am not going home and I will have a port put in ASAP".  So, 9th try inside of elbow bam!!!  No the only problem is I couldn't move my arm for 7 hrs and my kidney's were working overtime to get this crap out of my body that I had to get up every hour sometimes more to use the washroom, but I got my treatment!

March 19th, 2010
Back to the clinic for my Neulasta shot .... yesterday and today, feeling OK.

March 20th - 26th, 2010
Not too much to write ..... I was unconscious most of the time.  It took all of my energy just to eat, I couldn't function.  Damn, I didn't think it would hit me this hard already!  Every possible sick feeling from bone pain, nausea, fatigue, exhaustion, overall feeling of yukkines and blah.  It was too much exertion to even talk .... I just slept or lied there starting at the ceiling. 

March 26th, 2010
Time for my next Zoladex shot, freeze skin, insert seed.

March 30th, 2010
Met with the dietitian, found out the proper type of Calcium I should be taking and she questioned me as to why I was making different changes to my diet?  The tears started to come and I stated after everything I have been through I need to try and remove as much as possible from my diet that could be causing any harm.  I need to do everything and anything to help myself because obviously I am at a high risk.  The dietitian's only complaint .... low protein intake.  I will reasses and do some thinking about it and go with what my instincts are telling me.

March 31st, 2010
Canadian Clinic for Innovative Medicine - met with Dr. Marier, Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine .......

to be continued ......


  1. Dear Sasha,
    I am living in Montreal and have been fighting breast cancer since 1994. I was diagnosed with a reoccurence 4-1/2 years ago and have to deal with situations once in a while. I had the same thing as you and was operated on last June to remove fluid from my lung. It was a long recovery because I wasn't hungry and stopped eating and didn't mention it to anyone. I am now OK but fight the battle every day. Mets in my lungs, bones, sternum. I also have an upbeat attitude and I think it is the best way to go through this. Life is still good.
    Barbara Lang

  2. Thank you Barb for sharing your story with me/us! I look forward to sharing more along the way and connecting with you on My Crazy Sexy Life! Keep the spirits high and keep fighting!