Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Back To Life ..... Back to Reality!

Summer is over :(  Oh well, time for my favourite season Fall .... time to layer your cool attire, wear nice cozy sweaters, take a stroll and curl up on those cool nights.  I love Fall! 

Back to life ... and back to reality after my 7 weeks off!  I travelled to London on Sept. 7th for my 6 mth follow up with the London Cancer Clinic for my ovarian diagnosis, and from their end everything looks good.  I was informed that I will have two more appointments with them and then I will be finished which means that this time next year I will have my last follow up in London and my care will go back to my family MD ... that was some great news! 

This was also "scanxiety" week as on the 9th I went for my follow up chest,pelvic, abdomen CT scans.  I must say that I have become a master at drinking the barium sulphate as nasty as it tastes I am able to chug it down in under 30 secs .... pretty good for someone who has never chugged beer before!  Same routine ... put in a lock, connect it, feel the dye travelling through your body as your body heats up ... which I must say this time around I heated up a lot more than usual, then feel like you are peeing yourself, travel in and out of the tube and done!  This time though I almost yakked on the table, something to do with the dye and the barium sulfate mixing together in my stomach, I did not feel good at all!!!  No donuts this time after my tests :)

I had the opportunity to go to a presentation on "Can-surviving" given by a fellow Vit. C'r who has been living with prostate cancer since 2004.  What an inspiring presentation ... how to live and be happy with cancer.  This is something at times I still try to wrap my head around but the more I think about it the more it makes sense.  Of course you get angry and upset that you have been diagnosed with cancer but holding on to and keeping that anger inside of you .... is that really good?  Why be mad?  Why use the words battle and fight?  We are not giving in or giving up if we live as one with our cancer ... cancer is not a bad thing, it is a warning sign from our body to let us know that something is not working properly.  Yes it is a warning that is very capable of ending our lives ... but it is also a warning to help ourselves, it is our bodies cry for help!  Over the past couple of weeks I have started to understand more and more what "can-surviving" is all about.  Some other important words I took away from the presentation was "Live, Love, Choose" ... very important as well as doing things to "keep your mind off of that thing!" which I will bring back up in my next post.  Great, great presentation and glad I was able to be a part of it.

Today's the day! ... off to Dr. Alam's office for my results.  Upon entering the clinic is when I get the "scanxiety" not any earlier so I have to give myself credit for that.  The CT results are always so long and difficult to understand so in short ... Dr. Alam asked me what it was that I was doing?  I stated my Vit. C which she was aware of, plus a supplement and homeopathy routine that Dr. Marier provided me with.  Dr. Alam stated that whatever it was that I was doing, to keep doing it as something is working.  I didn't hear the words "it's gone" but I did hear the next best thing which was that it is stable.  From my 7th & 8th treatments nothing has shrunk nor grown or travelled to any other organs .... wow a sigh of relief!  No more chemo needed and I will be followed closely every 4-6 weeks so I will return mid October and find out what the game plan will be for tests, etc. 

The following day I was in for my Vit. C and to give Dr. Marier the good news!  He also sat down with me and went through my report word for word to help me understand what all the mumbo jumbo was.  Everything is stable, and they can not rule out that things have not calcified and hardened .... therefore inactive, as well as scar tissue building up at the base of my lung, the report is very up and down but the main message from it all is that everything is stable!  My homeboy (cancer) can stay as long as he remains stable and just chills!!

Now what ... well it is going to be a wait and see approach.  I sat down and thought about what else I could do to help and heal my body so I have made some more tweaking to my surroundings.  The hardest one given by Dr. Marier is changing our though patterns.  Of course I also worry and am concerned when something hurts in my body especially when it is on the side that I have had all the work done so ... I need to get that hook out of my thoughts that I keep putting there and acknowledge my thoughts and then let them go.  With my diet ... eat, drink & think about how it makes you feel!  I have returned to practicing yoga daily at home with short meditations (something I still need to expand upon), carrying out my Happiness Project (I will expand upon next time), radiant touch and therapeutic touch, of course my massages and just enjoying life.

One more thing before I end .... as of 1 1/2 weeks ago I have become hat and scarf free!!!!  And ... I had my eyebrows waxed!  The little things in life!

Till next time!


1 comment:

  1. Routine suppresses the desire to create. I like winter, when there is much snow and I can go out for a skate or a ski road. I like being recognized by people and told how much weight I had put on. I like writing about every day of my life.